Something happened to Alexis Jones between this year and last year. She honed her I Am That Girl message. She strengthened her impact. While last year’s message was more about how Alexis Jones became a celebrity, this year’s message focused on reprogramming girls’ minds to redefine beauty, stop being mean to one another, forgive, love yourself, create a movement and inspire the next generation.
Sure, my description of her message may sound trite; her presentation was anything but. Jones began by identifying one of the main problems girls face as society’s definition of beauty. By using various media clips like the Dove’s Evolution commercial and Beauty Pressure commercial, Jones tries to raise awareness among teens how “programmed” they are by the pervasive media message that girls just don’t measure up. She questions the media’s standard equation that physical beauty equals a girl’s self worth. She proposes media’s definition of beauty is an illusion that girls can never really achieve.
Through a pie chart, she proposes physical beauty be only one slice in the beauty pie, and that qualities like compassion, passion, honesty, boldness, humility, forgiveness, thoughtfulness, spunk, kindness and courage, share equal slicing. To reinforce the message, she gives the girls a secret assignment, involving videos and interviews. While still in the explanation stages, one teen girl sitting next to me scripted her entire project. The girls loved it!
Another problem Jones identifies for teenage girls is the mean girl phenomenon. She asks the question: Why are girls so mean to each other? Her answer and an easy mantra to remember: Hurt people, hurt people. The premise is that when girls grow up under such impossible standards they cannot meet, they feel insecure and don’t like themselves,so they perpetuate their self doubt and self hatred onto others. It becomes a vicious cycle. She tells the girls it’s not your fault. The problem is cultural and systemic. Showing the music video “Are you Happy Now?” by YouTube sensations Megan and Liz, and a documentary film clip from Finding Kind (“We may not all be beautiful. We may not all be smart. We may not all be talented. But we can all be kind.”) Girls are immersed visually in images of girls hurting and being hurt. They witness the vicious cycle.
Whereas last year’s presentation left me a bit critical and analytical, this year’s presentation left me saying, “I can work with this!” Her message is very much in alignment with my own hopes and counseling goals for teenage girls. It is one I can build upon well after her presentation ends. I took detailed notes, copying down much verbatim. I will try to use her language. Why? Because the girls love her.
I found myself asking, could this message be bottled up and delivered by just anyone? My conclusion is an emphatic no. Given the fact that we have an innate human need to want to idealize someone, and given the fact that our media saturated world has programmed our teen girls to have a narrow standard for those they idealize: thin, glamorous, beautiful, young, energetic, vibrant, confident, funny…celebrities… Alexis meets the teenage girl standard like few can. She has the dazzle to hook them and hold their attention. Her other “pie chart” qualities like spunk, personality, courageousness, passion, boldness, honesty unfold more subtly, which require teenage girls to listen, think abstractly and have a certain level of awareness. Many aren’t there yet.
I asked one of the girls afterwards, “Which presentation did you like better? This year or last year?”
“Last year.” She said. “I liked hearing how she got on Survivor and got famous.”
I sighed. Of course she liked last year. And of course I liked this year.
It may take a while for these 11, 12, 13 & 14-year-olds to grasp the meat of Alexis’s current message. They may have to hear it several times throughout the years. My hope is, as they mature, they will begin to appreciate her ideas of redefining beauty and finding kindness for themselves and others and be less impressed by her beauty and celebrity. So despite the fact middle school girls still want to hear the celebrity stories, I say to Alexis Jones, stay the current course. You delivered a great message swiftly and surely with no missteps, and you kept your celebrity and physical beauty standing sturdy in the background.
